Disclaimer: This blog and it's entirety is of a very personal and private information and situation. I will not be disclosing the struggles as who exactly it refers to, anyways since we are married we both are equal in it.
I know I know another blog what are you thinking? This blog though is about all those hard things in life that you have to deal with. For me right now that is the almost 2 1/2 year battle with infertility. Before my husband and I married we had a very serious talk about children how many, when to start trying, what type of birth control to use and so on and so on. We also talked about the fact that the doctor had told us that we would not be likely to have children on our own. Both my husband and I next to loving Jesus and being married we wanted to be a mommy and a daddy.
We made a decision for the time being we decided that we would not being using any birth control to prevent any pregnancy. We did not want anything we did to prevent a baby God wanted to give us. We know what the doctors told us however we also know that we serve a bigger and stronger God that for Him there are no limitations and nothing that can stop Him from doing anything, and also a God that making a baby when there are suppose to be no babies is as simple for me to make coffee in the morning or to flip the light switch and turn it on or off.
Putting all our faith in God we watched as 1 year came and went and 2 years came and went and than about 6 months after our second anniversary we got the surprise of our life when I had 2 pregnancy test pop up positive. Here it was the miracle we believed God for and believed the promises and scriptures that had been spoken into our life. Sadly in the 2 weeks that followed both of the tests I miscarried. We were heartbroken.
So we watched a 2nd year come to a close and 3rd one start however 2 months into our 3rd year of marriage my husband had a friend over who God has used mightily in the prophetic and is a powerful prayer warrior and as they were talking and praying my husband mentioned to him that we would like prayer as we want a baby and what the doctors has told us. So he prayed for us and one of the things he said was that he prayed for the son that I would hold in my arms by this time next year. Crazy thing is both my husband and I have also known that our first born would be a boy (can't tell you why we just do) and we never told him that so it was a confirmation of what God had and has been speaking into our hearts. So in the past few months since this has happened for me personally has been ups and downs. Every monthly cycle and every negative test and tried my faith and broke my heart.
It has been harder the past few months especially as I watch a lot of my friends and family get pregnant and have babies. I never knew that such a happy pregnancy announcement could be tinged with such heartbreak. One thing I have definitely learned is to never judge a couple on why they have no children yet or only one child. You and I never know the reasons behind it. Infertility strikes 1 in 8 couples. Who knows how many couples don't report infertility. You may never know the couples in your circle that are dealing with it and whether you mean to helpful or curious such questions can cause such heartache to hear.
I know right now neither one of my husband or I have a definite diagnosis of infertility or not being able to conceive children as we don't have the extra money to seek out the necessary medical help. I know that tests for him run roughly 600 to begin with and his insurance doesn't cover any of it and I right now don't have insurance. I am currently working on finding a policy that will cover maternity benefits at a reasonable rate. I think I might have possible found one that I am researching right now.
My goal for this blog is to share our journey of becoming more than just two that one day we will become 3 or more.
Disclaimer #2: Remember what your momma said if you can't say nothing nice don't say anything at all. While I appreciate any and all comments I will delete any negative comments.
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